Chapter 4
Better in return
When we feel good, our animals' lives are made better, because they too thrive on feeling good, particularly on feeling loved and cherished. When we feel good, we're a whole lot easier to live with. When we feel good, we take better care of ourselves and of everything else in our lives, most especially those we love. When we feel good, we're more attuned to our animals' needs and we're better able to attend to those needs. So, all of this works to their benefit as well.
Our animals love it when we're happy; they need us to be happy.
I must admit here that I had some help in writing this book: a fluffy cat, who lives in my imagination, steadfastly sitting to my right, waiting for me to return to the computer and finish the book. Whenever I'd get bogged down in the mental toil of it, I'd take a break, which sometimes stretched into weeks. No matter what, the fluffy cat patiently waited for me to be ready to get back to it. This cat also kept me on track whenever I got lost in the past.
One day when I was particularly stuck, I asked this cat what she most wants me to say; what this book is really all about from our animals' perspective. Here is her reply:
“We want you to be happy. We love it when you're happy. We need you to be happy. We are here to help you to be happy, to remind you that your true state is happiness. We have our own lives, our own experiences, our own interests, our own difficulties, our own histories, our own lifespans; but we are here in yours for our mutual benefit and our mutual enjoyment. Take full advantage of our presence, and it will make both our lives much more enjoyable.”
Ahh. So, that would make us their soul friends in return. I was Miss Lilly's soul friend, and she was mine. That is, after all, how friendship works.
Our animals have their own lives, their own stresses and needs.
As the fluffy cat pointed out, our animals have their own lives, and that includes their own stresses and their own needs. Even if we bred them ourselves and thus have known them from birth, our animals arrive with their own histories, partly genetic inheritance and partly acquired through life experience. In addition to the particular requirements of their species, they have their own personalities, proclivities, and interests, their own challenges and difficulties, and their own lifespans and experiences of birth and of death.
...
Miss Lilly had her own history, personality, and perspective on life.
She also had her own purpose.
From a purely material or physical perspective, she was an ordinary dog, living an ordinary dog's life, which lasted longer than some, not as long as others, and nowhere near as long as I'd have liked. She arrived with her own history, her own personality, and her own perspective on life. I would now add that she also had her own purpose.
Clearly, as our “origin story” in the prologue shows, we were meant to find each other and to share our lives for a while. Unbeknown to me at the time, I was meant to scoop her up after her rough start and take good care of her for the rest of her life, as she enjoyed life as a much-loved dog. And I can only suppose that she was meant to accompany me and metaphorically keep me from sinking as I navigated my way blindly through the turbulent seas of modern human life. We were each other's much-needed soul friends, and we shared many moments we both thoroughly enjoyed, although from different perspectives and thus for different reasons.
One example was the moment when I realized what dogs such as Miss Lilly find beautiful. We were living in the Seattle area at the time. On one bright, spring morning we both sat on the front porch, at the top of the steps, enjoying the sunshine. Our front yard was bordered by a 6-foot tall wooden privacy fence, and a pair of overgrown cypress trees sheltered the front gate. Along the foundation of the house was a garden bed that was filled with bluebells, nodding their beautiful mauve heads in the soft breeze.
It was mid-morning, and I was taking a break from something I was working on, so the street was very quiet. Miss Lilly was sitting on her haunches, looking out calmly yet attentively onto the same scene. She sniffed the air and then gave a big, contented sigh. I got the distinct impression that, in that moment, she was experiencing beauty as order, of everything (including me) in its place and all (including me) as it should be. Dog is in her heaven and all is right in her world.
Well, who am I to argue with that?!
Better together.
Although we took a long, rambling journey to get here, I now understand this: we can transform our shared lives by making a conscious decision to enjoy more of the lovely, lively peace we now only sometimes experience with our animals.
The more we do it, the easier it is to find and the longer it lasts. Over time, we gradually change our habitual setpoint to a more positive frame of mind, and all of the good things that flow from it benefit both us and the animals we love.
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