Lost in the game again
Question: Oh, no! I'm lost in the game again. I'm feeling my aloneness. It feels like there's nothing else, nothing but this solitary, isolated, little me. How do I get out of it? How do I break free? How do I re-feel my oneness? Intellectually, I know it's true. Emotionally, though, I feel completely and irrevocably separate, and separate from it — which is absurd. But that is how this individuality feels. I'm stuck here, or so it seems. What is the way out?
Answer: The way “out” is in. Go in, inward, and feel all that you feel.
Question: Oh, now I remember: when I dissolve my boundaries, relax all my habitual tensions, "soften what is rigid within," * then onennes is all that I am. Yes, now I remember. Soften. Relax. Unclench. That's it. That's all.
* This phrase comes from the lovely little book, Prayers of the Cosmos: meditations on the Aramaic words of Jesus, by Neil Douglas-Klotz. It's part of a suggested translation of the third Beatitude, “Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth.” In full, it reads “Healthy are those who have softened what is rigid within; they shall receive physical vigor and strength from the universe.”
All that remains is continuity with everything around me, all the way out to distant galaxies.
Now, what do I want to do with this oneness? What do I want to do within this oneness? (Feel more of it; feel it for longer, and more of the time, until it's my habitual sensation.) What do I want to do from (out of) this oneness?
Answer: Ah! That's the best question. You feel its soft tug toward something heavenly, delightful, delicious… You feel it drawing you into your much bigger life. All you need do is let go and float, let yourself be drawn on, expanded outward in all directions, and especially toward what you want to create.
Everyone is playing their own game, so not all will be inspired by your work — and that's just as it should be. Respect the paths others are on, the particular games they're playing. Don't try to change anyone — not even yourself. Just continue to model curiosity, openness, and expansion. Others will want to do that, too; but by no means all. So be it.
Question: I don't want to go back into practice.* I don't want to go back. I want to go forward — but I can't see to what.
* I had closed my veterinary practice and retired two years earlier, but I was still nervous about embarking on a writing career — and, of course, my perennial worries about money had to have their say.
Answer: Then don't go back; there's no need, and every reason not to. Go forward. Feel your way forward, from within that sense of oneness, and see what happens.
Question: I would really like to [and then I listed the specific things I want to do]. Now, for today, how should I begin?
Answer: By getting clear, very clear, about what you want. Particularly about how it feels (not what it looks like) to have it. To be there already. Because you are. You already are that. You already are there.
You were there, in part or for a very short time, when you first conceived the idea. Now simply spend more time there. And then more and more and more. Before too long, you'll start to act as if you're already there, doing the things and saying the things you envision yourself doing and saying there. Then you really will be there.
You see? "Live it” isn't just a nice piece of advice; it's the method, the means by which you make your vision a reality. Instead of waiting for it to appear, live it into being.
…
“Live it” isn't just a nice piece of advice;
it's the method, the means by which
you make your vision a reality.
The Game
hide seek find laugh
Christine King
KINDLE eBOOK
USD: $3.50
PAPERBACK
USD: $15.95
EPUB eBOOK (lulu.com) * for e-readers that don't support Kindle files
USD: $3.50
Also available on Apple Books, Barnes & Noble Nook, Kobo Bookstore, and many other online bookstores.